Slumdog Millionaire” is omnipresent these days .. It’s getting accolades and awards from all the corners of the world .. It has got 9 to 10 Oscar nominations – the supreme and the highest awards of the film industry all over world .. Amitabh Bachhan has criticized the movie for portraying India in a bad – poor light .. Except him and my few other blogger friends, most of the reviewers have praised the film for its concept, direction, acting, screenplay and of course for Rahman’s music .. I watched it few days ago .. I liked the concept very much and I too felt that it could have been made better and it of course does not come in my ‘Worth-Watching’ category of films .. You might feel that I have a shallow taste but I do not have ‘Herd mentality’ nor I follow trends .. I have got my own brain to analyze and review things and that’s what I felt .. This movie is certainly over-hyped and overrated .. It is also certainly meant for the West who has the image of India being very poor, corrupt, full of corruption-slums-prostitution-naked children-beggars and dirty third-world country ..

In last few years, I had watched several off-beat/dark movies which are usually made for so-called intellectual, English-speaking, sophisticated classes and not for masses .. I have analyzed that all these off-beat movies follow the similar trend .. The things which I am going to write in next few lines, you will see those incidents/scenes/things in all these so-called non-commercial art films ..

So to make a critically acclaimed / Oscar nominated off-beat movie, you should:

(1) Include some really very very abusing and vulgar words .. These words should be from Hindi language .. Somehow these Hindi gaalis tend to provide more appeal and influence than the very common English ‘F’ word .. Hard-core swearing must be included 4 to 5 times in the script .. It will be considered as freedom of speech and appropriate as per the situation’s demands by critics and intellectual reviewers ..

(2) Include smooches, lip-lockings and extremely bold love-making scenes in the film .. Critics will praise it as it was the demand and necessity of the state of the film ..

(3) Include a riot scene where a Muslim area or a Muslim dominated slum or a Muslim housing colony is attacked by several Hindu fanatics having Tilak on their foreheads and saffron scarf around their neck .. Misleadingly portray how Muslims of India live in a very scary, pitiful and pathetic situation and they have fear of their lives every second and they are butchered by Hindus every now and then without any reason or provocation .. Intellectuals will stand up and will give you round of applause and standing ovation for your boldness, non-partiality and secularism .. You will be considered very scholar and thinker film maker ..

(4) Show infidelity, extra-marital affairs, wife-swapping, drugs, drinks etc .. Classes will admire you for all these scenes because these things are mere their daily routine in their so-called posh society ..

(5) Try to portray India as bad and as poor as you can .. Show naked children doing potty on rail tracks, show slums, show open drainage lines, show broken roads, show ghetto areas, show beggars, show homeless people etc .. You will be considered as a realistic film-maker ..

(6) Keep the background music as loud as possible so that it can make many dialogues not audible and it cal also keep the critics and film-watchers awake ..

If you can get the right mixture of these masalas in your film, you are bound to get a critically-acclaimed & well-praised movie-maker tag even though 0.005% of the Indian population will watch your movie and out of that 0.001% will really like the movie or at least will pretend the same .. You will be a star next moment ..

Except ‘A Wednesday’ which was really very amazingly shot and directed, I found most of the off-beat movies sheer trash and awful ..

So which off-beat movie you liked in recent years?? .. Do let me know so that I can give it a try and can relate my analysis which I have mentioned above to it ..

Happy off-beat movie watching !! Then Happy yawning !! Then happy sleeping !! Then happy regretting the waste of both – time and money !!

Soham

23 Responses to “Art of making Critically-Acclaimed & Oscar-Nominated off-beat movie”

  1. True to perfection … Even though the movie was just another, round the corner, timepass flick, which was ok to watch, the only thing that I did not like is the image of India as portrayed in the movie … I mean come-on, who jumps into a pool of Shit just to get an autograph of a movie star … That was just damn out of the place … Other than that I truly support your views, that how this hypocrate film makers want to use and exploit the image of India … Well anyways I think you have written quite enough to share our wrath … Well about the off-beat movie that I have liked is – A Wednesday, Black Friday, Gafla etc …

    Cheers

  2. I would like to add “Aamir”, “Black Friday”, “No Smoking”, “Chandani Bar”, “Maqbool” to the list which I really liked….

    But I guess, you choice of “ART” films goes to be very limited… which narrows down to one…. considering not many “ART” movies are made in India…

    As of you points regarding, Making and Off-beat movie…

    (1)
    …I hear gaaliyan like B*******D, M*******D everyday…. so whats wrong if its used in a movie??

    (2)
    …OH!!! you don’t like sex!! People in India do it… People in your city do it… and people living in a slum do it-OUT IN OPEN… when you are not there to see it…..

    (3)
    …You belonging to Gujarat, I suppose should be sensitive towards riots.. but this is a path one way!! I would also love to see a movie on Babri-Masjid/Ayodhya Issue.. but frankly speaking no one in this shameless country has the guts to make it!! SAD!

    (4)
    … I didn’t understand….Are you against the so called off-beat movie.. that show the reality of 60% BPL of India…And you are also against the sordid lives of the Cream of so called “Upper Class”!!!! πŸ™

    (5)
    …. So what else can we show!! I agree, India is MUCH MUCH MORE than just whats you have written… But the fact is we cant disagree with what’s shown…If Danny Boyle has shown poverty, we should wait for someone to show the thriving Middle Class, Booming Exports, Growing Indian Billionaires…Just have patience buddy!!

    (6)
    … I haven’t seen SM, so cant comment on that.. will add to it once I watch the movie…

    I really don’t know about your preferences, But 0.005% of the India population would like to see this off-beat thing… I am really bored the KJ-beyond-limit-Richness and the bollywood-song-dance-routine which the 99.995% of Indian Janta still loves and adores….

    @ Samy :
    I was, coincidentally, in Indore and Jaipur at 2 separate occasions, when Amitabh Bachchan scheduled to visit the city.. I have seen myself, people waiting in queues outside his hotel for 2 days, without eating, drinking, shitting, taking a bath… I have seen Aunties and Didis, crying for one look of his and then fainting and admitted in hospital due to severe exhaustion…I know a person, who sold his blood, to get a ticket to Jaipur to meet Amitabh Bachchan

    Dear Samy, People ARE such crazy about movie star, at least India, I can not say about any other country!!

    πŸ™‚

  3. I think that not every off beat movie can be broken up into the the formulas u mentioned…Like the examples Rashmi gave.

  4. Lol. Good post. Slumdog is a so-so movie. Dunno why all this hype is about.

  5. Sat pratishat sahi bataya …

    I also did not feel that Slumdog deserves these much of appriciation …

    Perticularly I did not like Inidian slums being shown in movie and movie getting nominated for oscar and people taking pround of it .. I do not understand, for what the hell people are taking proud for Slumdog … especially movie name itself is quite irritating .. slumDOG !!! I dont understnad why people living in slums are called DOG? ..

    Nice post Soham …

  6. Well, let me tell you why critically acclaimed films have most of the things you’re talking about – they are trying to depict REALITY. It’s not your average Yash Chopra extravaganza, because guess what, thats not the reality. People do abuse, make love; riots are for real, so are extra-marital affairs and lastly, India IS an extremely poor country.

    I posted my views on the same issue on my blog, if you are interested.

    dhruvc.wordpress.com

  7. bro..I couldn’t agree more..ok if most people think this is the stark reality of Indian society where a majority lives below BPL..I agree , but to glorify it , and call the master a masterpiece is absolute crap.

    the basic plot of the film is by itself very interesting but it has been shrouded by the crap u talked about!!!

  8. Soham that shows how limited is your knowledge about movies…I am sure like a typical gujju that you are your choice of movies is extremely limited. All hard core commericial masala stuff, the karan johar – yashraj sort of candy floss. I was told by a very dear gujju friend of mine that gujjus reject a play in case if the heroine of the play isnt beautiful or isnt a glam doll..she might be a beggar or a retard….for all you care but then she has to look smashing when she appears on the stage…

    Sweetie this reality exists!!! whatever is shown in SlumDog Millionaire exists….Open your eyes….go see the slums in Dharaavi and around Mahim…I happened to see SlumDog with a friend who works for an NGO….She told me that this EXISTS!!! these things happen…..Notice how indifferent we are towards the beggars on the streets or those urchins who tap on our car windows asking for money!!! we choose not to see them…why? I guess because that is extremely convienent….

    I almost burst out laughing when you wrote about the communal riots in the movie and how they always depict hindus attacking muslims???? Thats a true Modi bhakt speaking…

    Slumdog even didnt work for me, but for different reasons…for me it was soo bollywoodish…that even the hardcore bollywood producers have left that formuala behind…This for me represents typical 80s bollywood……love, romance, friendship, jealousy..blah blah blah…it had everything….

    I was even sad when I realised that Frieda who was a glorified extra in the movie [she comes at the fag end]…….did everything to garner publicity …she was every where in the media……perhaps she is under the impression that she can finally make that transition to the west….something which aishwarya rai and the rest of her clan failed….whereas the kids [the real heros of slumdog]…the younger jamal in particular was completely ignored….even the co-director was royally ignored at the Golden globes….these are the issues that plague me…

    Sonia

  9. I think you are right about ur views for Indian movies…And except few movies like Wednesday , Aamir and Black & White all other movies are trying to Poor Imgage of India.Few Directors like Madhur bhandarkar just trying to show poverty ,Slum areas surroanded by dirty childrean…to get 1 National Award..For Example movie like Traffic signal which almost shows reality about Mumbai's traffic signal has changed mentality of ppl all over India..Now In ahmedabad or in ny small city who are really bagging for Food or money they are nt getting just because of the Reality which has shown in movie like Traffic Singal..And all are sitting inside car thinking this all are fake….

  10. I totally agree..and while india is making all the efforts to make itself realized as a developing country, this gives the impression that all indians are cheats and immoral slumdogs……..n d attach my hindus on muslims one thing that should not have been shown at any cost..
    btw did u feel dev patel looked like karan (keko)? all his colleauges thought he acted in dat movie πŸ™‚

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  12. lol. .
    that was quite harsh on the movie .. πŸ˜›
    loved the post though ..

  13. LOL… Very smart post! πŸ˜€
    Almost every stupid movie falls into some or the other category, with a nice little formula for ‘success’… πŸ™‚

  14. Agree with your post, one hundred percent. You said things in your review that I was too afraid to say myself in my review that I pubslied 2 weeks ago for a mag. And @RushMe, like your pick of movies 105%

  15. I dont think Slumdog was such a great movie to get 11 Oscor nominations. Even Rahman’s music is not the best one! Sigh!

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  17. it’s quite a long time without a post bro, wassup??

  18. Pretty damn accurate. And I hated Slumdog so much. People here have started calling us Indians Slumdogs. And Indian public goes ga-ga over the oscars. Hack!

  19. And what’s more ! Now we have our good old Limbaugh calling Indians ‘Slumdogs’ on a national radio show here.

    To all those out there who went ga-ga over the movie’s success and adopted that as India’s success and recognition. Are you happy now? You just want to be degraded and stay happy that way, isn’t it? Slaves of ‘white skin superiority’ psychology.

  20. Hahahha. Are you sure this formaula is win-win for Oscar??/ Chalo then, let make a movie and I will be the director and you will be hero. Bring your own heroine. πŸ˜€

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